A Portrait of People Who Want to Belong at All Costs, Receive Love and Appreciation: Are They Happy?

In his splendid motion picture: ” Zelig”, Woody Allen depicts an individual who attempts to absorb himself no matter what, to whichever condition he experiences: he can transform into “everyone” as though by the grab of his fingers. By doing so he is attempting to make due on the planet.

Motion picture aside, there are many individuals who are showing same characteristics as this Zelig: they generally make the furthest endeavors to be adorable. What’s more, so as to accomplish only that, they have some time in the past fail to regard their very own uniqueness and singularity, acting in manners which – so they think – are sure to bring them love, acknowledgment, regard and even deference.

The conundrum is, that by fail to be “who they truly are”, by trading off their own convictions and conclusions, they have confined themselves from the uniqueness and distinction which they eagerly shield as “a piece of what their identity is”!

What drives an individual to the skirt of ignoring his very own self at the special stepped area of getting affection and acknowledgment?

The reasons may be many:

  • There are the individuals who, from an exceptionally youthful age, wanted to contend with different kin which were more brilliant than them;
  • There are the individuals who felt disregarded as well as not cherished by their folks and “the quest for adoration and acknowledgment” has gotten a prime intention in their existential life;
  • There are the individuals who, either essentially or because of conditions, feel alone and desolate on the planet and have an immense need to have a place, be acknowledged and adored, which drives them to do whatever they can to accomplish only that!

The reasons might be many; yet the result is one: such individuals who are driven by an interminable should be adored and respected have lost their “actual self”; their “actual character”. From at an opportune time they have learned – perhaps unwittingly – to wear a veil of a cherishing, all-trading off individual, a mindful person who is master in tuning in to other people. On occasion, they have exceeded expectations in idealizing this “ability” to such a degree, that, all things considered, it would appear that an extremely common ability, one they have been brought into the world with!

Be that as it may, don’t let this dolt you! Regularly they damage themselves – just as others – without realizing that they do. They have “culminated” this cover to such an extent, that they themselves can never again isolate between “who they truly are” to the veil they wear. Without the cover they would have felt useless.

Be that as it may, since they never remove their covers – they have just become their very own veil! – they are not by any means mindful of the way that they track life wearing a cover. Also, they are continually attempting to “demonstrate” to themselves – just as to other people – that they have a “major heart”; that they can tune in to anyone pretty much anything; that they can give “free” guidance and a complimentary word. They consequently encircle themselves with some supposed “companions”; they never sit still at home, are consistently on the hurried to meet somebody, “be there” for somebody, help somebody.

Is it accurate to say that they are cheerful?

All things considered, it relies upon whether you think individuals who are not real can be glad; in the event that you believe that individuals who are “there for other people” no matter what, with their prime objective to “get” love and gratefulness, can be upbeat; on the off chance that you imagine that individuals who are always on the run from “their actual self” can be cheerful.

One thing is sure: they are absolutely ignorant of what their identity is; of what propels them to carry on the manner in which they do. What’s more, without mindfulness, all things considered, they will keep carrying on the manner in which they do, attacking their way on the planet, being stuck in their very own examples of conduct, always “checking” the quantity of companions they have – regardless of whether Facebook companions or “physical” ones – evaluating the “adoration”, the “regard” and the “thankfulness” they get for acting the manner in which they do…

So the inquiry again is: Are they upbeat?

Can an individual be cheerful without staying alert to who he/she truly is, continually wearing a cover?

What’s more, another intriguing inquiry is: Can they build up a genuine kinship? A genuine closeness? One which depends on shared give and take; on legitimacy? On trustworthiness?

I question it.

Incomprehensibly, what they want the most is in effect let alone for their span.